Emotional abuse

Hello, I'm Victoria. I was married for almost 5 years and was emotionally abused. I broke up with him abou a year and a half but had never talked about the abuse. I thought I could just move on and with time be myself again. I just started therapy because I realized that even though I have no feelings for my ex anymore and I feel like I've moved on I haven't. I thought I was ready to start dating again. I started meeting new people and felt triggered so many times. I realized how much the abuse is still affecting me and how it would affect a future realtionship. I'm so afraid of ending up in an abusive realtionship again. I just started therapy again to work on the trauma it caused. I thought that it would just go away. I've never really wanted to acknowledge I was abused. I don't want to feel like a victim. Mostly I think I feel guilty and ashamed I allowed it to happen. It makes me feel weak and stupid. Having someone validate what I've been through felt nice but it's scary to talk about it and let all the feelings out. I don't think people realize how hard is to move on after being abused. It's hard to just let it go.