Emotionally (sometimes physically) Abusive "Mother"

I don't even know how to begin. When I was a baby she'd dump me on the family to go party. I'd babysit her friend's kids so they could go party. I'd go to people's houses I didn't know. I wanted water. I was thirsty, but I couldn't drink what was in the cup, it was a "mommy drink". I'd pee in cups when I was 11 for my mom and her friends, and sometimes for my aunt who has since turned around her druggie life for her baby girl (the light of my life), Adelia. I was raped by my abusive ex when I was 14 and was never able to tell my mother because when she saw the condom she freaked. I had a lot of boyfriends after that and was called a whore by her. When I was little we shared a room in her sugar daddy's basement. She had a lot of "friends" that I'd hear her moaning with at night. But there was a sheet canopy around my bed so I wouldn't have to watch too. There was always something I did wrong. Dishes. Didn't wake her hungover self up early enough. Ruined her body. Etc. Kicked me out for being a "whore". Yells at me now because I see my Nana (gramma) as more of a mother than she ever was. Have gotten texts last night calling me selfish and ignorant. But I guess that's just me, right?