Getting This off My Chest

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in my own sweat. Its in those times I feel the most hopeless. Well actually, thats right now. I wish that I never experienced what I went through. I wish..that I didnt have to wake up from nightmares filled with them. Them. I would love to be able to say that I didnt know any of their names, because the pain of the people I trusted betraying me cut the deepest. I feel worn down, tired. My other mental illnesses along with PTSD are consuming me. To the point that I dont know who I am. I dont know what to do. Please help.