I can't do anything

My life has gone downhill since I had to move back home with my abusive parents. I was doing okay living hours away from the man that molested and physically abused me- but now all I do is sleep. This is the house that I was living in as I was being raped by the men that paid me for sex as a young teenager too- the energy is off here.

I had to cancel one appointment with my therapist, and I asked her to call me back to make another apointment and she never did....so i called her AGAIN to remind her and it's been a month and still no call back from her. And I quit my outpatient/group therapy for drug counseling because I feel bad that my parents have to pay out of pocket for it. Ive been trying to find another therapist that does EMDR but my insurance has only a few.

I'm fucking 21 and i've never had a job before, can't drive, have no skills, and can't seem to get out of bed. I wish i could get back on drugs because life seemed so much easier when things were numb.