I remember everything
Im sure this applies to all of the other posts as well, but trigger warning•••
It was summer. I was 12, soon to be 13. He was 14. He had been going through family problems. He lived in my neighborhood. Him and some other nearby kids hung out a lot. One of my friends didnt trust him. She had invited me and some others to swim, and I wanted her to invite him since he had been hurting. I told her, Hes different now. She believed me, and he came over to swim with us.
Her house is a house on a street perpendicular to mine. 7th house. Ive only been back twice since it happened. Once we just hung out in her house. The other time we swam and I made exscuses to leave because I couldnt take it.
Anyways, it was her, my two sisters, and him in the pool. He..he always found a way to be near me. It was easy since its an above ground pool. Just a circle. Every time he got the chance, hed grabbed me. Touch me. It was all underwater, so no one else saw. Each time, he got more deliberate and closer to my privates. Every time I pushed him away and swam off. I whispered, Stop, trying not to make a scene. He would grab me by my waist, so it was hard to get away, and rub, finger, grab me. He wouldnt stop. I couldnt ask him to leave. I was practically frozen. I wanted to. I was mentally screaming. At one point, my little sisters had gotten out and started playing around, and my friend went inside to get some drinks. Before I knew it, he had pushed me against the wall and steps, cornering me. I tried to push him off. He was about a foot taller than me and really strong. He started touching me again, but this time it was worse because I couldnt escape. He pulled at my suit, wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled me close to him..grinded his fingers against me. He rubbed his hands all over my thighs, stomach, privates..he had me pinned. He violated me. He took my body away from me. I still cant walk or drive through my neighborhood because Im scared Ill see him again. I was a coward. I shouldve screamed or something, but I was frozen. I let him do it..I couldnt stop him.
Thats my story.
@Littleliar113
I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. It wasn't right of him to do any of that. You're not a coward; you did what you thought was best with the information you had at the time. Many other people would have done the same thing. I think when we look back on things like this, when we're safe again, it's like we wear different lenses and we judge ourselves that we should have done this or that like it was obvious. But it's hard to know how we'll react when we're surprised, scared, embarrassed, angry, and a million other things we might experience during an experience like that. Please try not to judge yourself too harshly if you can. I'm glad you're here talking about it. I hope maybe it helped to give it some air.