It's that time of year... Again
April 23, 2016, I found my husband dead on the bedroom floor. I was a 30 year old widow, with a 2 month old baby at the time. Since then, I've remarried but my current husband doesn't understand trauma or depression. I've restarted counseling for PTSD and depression, but I have no support at home. I'm and substance abuse counselor, so my job expectations had made things even worse. I just need for the world to stop, and give me a chance to get myself together. I just feel like I'm losing it right now. I'm usually the person that everyone comes to, but I don't have anyone that I can go to. Thanks for listening.
@Nikko0130
I am sorry for what has happened. I can't imagine the pain you felt seeing your loved one laying cold lifeless. You've experienced a major trauma and there is no doubt.
I have been working in mental health field as a case manager for quite sometimes prior to my current job. I know how it feels to have everyone have different expectation of how I should handle my own mental health. I have childhood trauma that led me to fall into mental health as my primary career. Not like you, I never reached out and tried to self-heal because "I should know better". It sounds like you're already making a good recovery path for yourself. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and seek others so kudos to you. Cliche I know but take a deep breath and take it slow. Go to your therapist and undo your knot one out of time. Don't feel rushed and take your own time. It's frustrating to have so little support and understanding from the ones you currently love, but time will pass. It's not anyone's fault that they don't know. I think it helps to explain the level of difficulty and ask for some time instead of getting overwhelemed about trying to make them understand. You do you first and worry about the rest later. Sounds like you may have many people who depend on you. You have to stay strong for everyone who needs you, right? Your wellness matter the most and I think you're already in a good path of recovery. Good luck and keep us posted.
It sounds like you have encountered a loss in your life, and I'm sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you are presently in a new marriage, where your present husband does not understand the health challenges which you are facing. Sorry to hear that you do not have the help which you would prefer to have, at your home environment.
It is great to hear that you have started counselling, as you can receive some professional guidance to assist you to go through your present struggles. I think it's understandable that with the multiple issues you are facing, you are feeling that you would like to successfully find ways to cope, and to deal with them, as you are feeling that your experiences are overwhelming. I'm hoping you can find healthy coping methods to use, and also partake in healthy ways to take care of yourself, during this time.
Wishing you a successful recovery.
