It still haunts me

It was years ago, I was around 6 when it started. Lasted till I was 8. Every other weekend I was at his house to spend the night. He was my grandfather after all. Every other weekend every night he would sexual abuse me in some way. I was too young to even know what he was doing. I forgot about it for such a long time, I blocked it all out and yet it came back. It has ruined me. I cant even hug my dad anymore or sleep close to someone. Things I used to love to do. I think Im suffering from C-PTSD now, my mom wont bring me to a therapist in real life though