It wasn't rape necessarily

I didn't know if I was a lesbian or bisexual so I figured the best way to find out was to be in a relationship with a guy. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two months. My friends told me to have sex with him to stop the confusion and today that happened. But the thing is, I knew I didn't want to do it. After we started and he tried to put it in me, it really hurt and I wanted it to stop. I said no and I tried to push his waist away from mine and eventually I cried because of the pain and bleeding. That's when he stopped and he held me and kissed me and told me it was normal and that it was ok. But he kept trying to "loosen me up" during that time and I didn't want it. I tried to stop him. And then I gave in and said he could try it again to see if he fit now because everyone has sex and I was probably just being stupid. It was my first time, how would I know anything? And then he did and he didn't pull out and finished inside me in a condom. I was bleeding and it hurt so bad. When he finally left, I cried. I'm still shaking and I regret it and I feel like a part of me is missing. I don't know what to do