I want to leave in peace but no in ignorance

tw. You know how when you were a kid you viewed the world as if it's a giant adventure and you just couldn't wait to grow up to embark on it? Well, then growing up the world kept getting smaller and smaller until it was just the four walls of your bedroom where you could be really who you are. Outside, though alluring are the trees and the fresh air, is really crappy. You learn that people don't really smile at you but try to mask their jugding faces with that plastic smile. Liberty, freedom seems like just word on a paper deemed important because in reality, out on the roads I cannot wear what I want without being thought to be enticing creeps. I have had enough you know of those accidental brushes, of "with a dress like that she was probably asking for it", "it's her fault". I'm tired, very tired. I remember I was eight and I remember news of all those nines, fives and even six month olds. Our lives forever altered because someone couldn't control themselves. I just can't keep quiet when I see someone blaming the victim, it wasn't our fault. I do not know how it make sense in their head to paint a person who sexually assaulted or harrassed someone as innocent. I try to get my point across but they don't really want to listen because these people don't want to be proven wrong. But, if left be they will spread this toxicity to the next generation. I cry sometimes because as a kid I wasn't brave enough to speak up so I let it happen to me but if I can stop one kid or anyone from hurting like I am. But, it takes a lot of energy to deal with people like that and my depression makes me drowsy. Sometimes, I wish I was never born because it hurting, you know. And I don't know how to stop it. - A.