I want to share a story.

I was chatting with a friend and then I had the necessity of telling him something crazy about myself.

Me: I feel so guilty, I destroyed my life in 2012, I can't be a normal girl. I wanna kill myself.Sorry, dude.
Him:Don't be sorry. How did you destroy your life?
Me: It was about fear and love towards a fat man, who forced me to do certain things.
Him: So you were raped? That is not your fault. It never is. No matter how much it feels like it. Don't let that co****cker run your whole life.
Me: Not raped. He was an e-couple. He forced me to show my body in Skype and touch myself. I did that for fear and love.
Him: That is sexual harassment Mari,not far from rape.
Me: Really?I thought that was roleplaying or something similar.He had that way of getting sexual pleasure with lots of girls and boys. When we met irl, he wanted me to lick and bite his neck and vice versa. And then he wanted a kiss.We finished the day kissing, and then he touched my boobs and ass. And I was scared, I mean, he had a girlfriend that time!I felt sad for her.She knew about the sexfriends of her bf.2 or 3 months later, we were lovers.We had our couples.We were lovers for 1 month.Then he finished with her for me, but at the next day he kicked me off, in a manner of speaking.We finally were an official couple some months later. During the pause, he only called me to Skype to have e-sex and then he ended all the sessions.Just e-sex, nothing of "hello, how are you", "let's talk about Homestuck", etc...I did a lot of things to catch his attention: I bought new clothes to show him via webcam, for example,and I bought a dildo, how embarrassing what I am saying, dude!I think that worked, anyways; he talked to me more often.And then, a night, he wanted me to be his new girlfriend.But he started to say things like "your family sucks, you need to run away and live with me"...OH, I forgot something.When we were lovers, we talked to meet again and have sex irl.This didn't happen, phew!It's supposed he will come to my city again and stay in a house and fu*k allthe day. He only stayed in another city (with 1hour distance) and he couldn't come here because his parents didn't give him money...Seriously? Parents?He tried to force me to go to the other city and see him.Of course I didn't do that.Okay, I return at the couple ape. He started to say my family is a mess and that I must to live with him; being his couple and s*ut, using me like an object for money with his friends, wanting to make me drunk to f*ck me and doing a golden shower in my mouth.This was in the begginning of 2013.I started to cry in school of the sadness.Some girls told me that I must to end with him and denounce him...They were right.I ended with him, I deleted him of all the social media, but I didn't do the denunciation.Some days later he called to me saying he was sorry for all and that he respects my option. Some months later, he added me to Facebook.He was a strange for me, but he was talking to me like we were BFF, trying to do the sex games again.I deleted him again, forever.And I am here...Mom discovered the dildo, said I am a crazy b**ch, forced me to throw it to the trash. She took me to my ex psychologist, the b*tch who forced me to say all.My mom said I am ill because I am a girl who usually likes both sexs.My dad thought it was because I used to act like a man.That doesn't make sense! Now I feel fear and fault every time I touch myself or I have sex with my actual boyfriend.I am afraid of porn.I can't feel the same pleasure.I can't feel nothing!Almost nothing!Every time I think I ruined my life.Do you want to know more? Last year I had an e-friend who wanted to help me with this. This was working, and we had sexual desires the one to the other.But he only wanted that. He only wanted sex. :( Sorry, Kai, I felt the necessity of telling you that story, you are a good boy and you have the right to know about my problems, and vice versa.I love you, dude.
Him: I love you too, Mari. I did not ignore you. I am at work and had to flick back and forth. None of that is your fault.You were manipulated. You did not ruin your life.