Leaving
Im living with someone who is great some days hes also horrible on others. He has hit me, choked me, forced himself on me sexually, and said some of the meanest things that have ever been said to me. I feel useless and worthless most days. My 5 children (from my previous marriage) live with us as well. He spent 3 days in jail when my oldest daughter called the police on him early last year as she walked in on him attacking me. He had 3 charges placed on him all felonies with prison time. I let the charges drop and asked him to come back..... Im stupid. Im that stupid girl with no self esteem that you read/hear about and wonder to yourself..... why is she so stupid?
So here I am with him. I have no money, I have no family I can talk to about this. I have no help and I need to know how to leave. How do I leave and not shake my kids up more?
@Scrambledeggs80
HI Scramble, thank you for sharing such a difficult story. It takes a lot for someone to admit their vulnerability. You're right, most would just question you "why" and demand an answer. Well, I am not here to do that. Sounds like your partner is already in the system and your 5 children are aware of this situation. Does your children live with you? are any of them minors? I am a mother as well and I worry about your children's safety physically and emotionally. Please take care them and don't hurt them.
I was sort of like one of your children, it's not fun watching your parents always fight and argue. It's quite relevant but as an adult, i had trouble with trust and relationships.
Here is a link to what I feel that would help you. Thank you for reaching out here and please update us. https://coda.org
@Jackie
thank you. Yes my children do live with me. I know its crazy, but the most difficult part of leaving is that I dont want to uproot and rattle them again. We most recently moved into a very nice house that they love. My kids have had rough times with their dad and I divorcing, losing our home, me staying with my sister, and losing their grandmother. This all happened within 6 months time. It sounds really bad too, but they are used to a certain lifestyle. They all go to private schools. I do struggle financially and have no savings. Im pay check to paycheck. If I leave, he will take my car, and I cant just uproot my kids and go to a domestic violence shelter. Im financially trapped right now. The good thing for them is that he hasnt put a hand on me in the house since May. So, they are isolated from that now.
@Scrambledeggs80
very infortunately I know too well how that goes. My ex husband was also the bread maker at the time and I had no guts to leave him as I had nothing under my name, my daughter was attending daycare that cost an arm, I was in school fulltime to continue my education and ultimately I was also afraid of people feeling bad for me. I married young and I wanted nothing to do with people feeling for me. I wanted to be perceived as OC ( Orange County CA) stay at home mom who shops at Target bit to often.
I am really glad we got to share, I am mostly glad because you're now isolated from the abuse in front of your children. I hope that you find your way to be happy somewhere else with your children.
Good luck to you and feel free to message me on 7cups when you just need a listening ear. Have a good day Scramble.