Life of trauma

So have been raped 7 different times at 13 and addict to crack. Raised in an abusive alcoholic family life. Was kiddnapped and raped by a so called friend then again kidnapped at gun point twice first was held under surveillance for 3 months second time he tried take me to graveyard with loaded gun cocked and ready. Ex husband was nassistic and manipulative. Drug us down with our 4 kids numerous time to homelessness and cause me to lose them 3 times. (2018 nov)Ex best friend who I started to date relasped and encourage me to relaspe straight to shooting up meth. Kids were removed bc I had them stay with a friend. And false report was put in. (Havent seen or talked to them since Nov 2018) Then ex best friend rumored me in the street as a narc which got me targeted. He had me robbed stole my vehicle numerous times. Was at a house where was drugged and raped. Then a roommate assaulted me in my sleep. Then got evicted in May 2019 bc was robbed at gun point guy was dating we was suppose to move to Topeka together but then just blocked me. There is so much more. But I just want to be happy not afraid enjoy life have my babies.