List your possible traumas

@GhostlyLilian
Well, for now I don't feel like sharing many details. Maybe I could say something about being celiac. There could definitely be worse things, but I think it was quite traumatic for the lack of support and understanding, and because it added up and fit so well to the feelings I got from the abuse. I couldn't have what everyone else had (back then, there weren't many gluten-free options around), and it felt so normal, too normal for me, because I already felt different, undeserving. Also, it made social exclusion worse, because I didn't even share food anymore with the rest of the world, and birthday parties and evenings out, that for others were mostly light and care free moments, for me were a monument to abdication. I couldn't share the same mood with others. Also, I already felt like a burden for everyone and I felt so ashamed knowing that at every classmate birthday party (when they still invited me) someone would have had to cook or buy things just for me, and on the other end, many didn't think about it, and it hurt. But I always reassured everyone that it was ok, it was all fine, because I knew how unimportant I was, and they didn't need to spend money, time and energy just to be polite. My parents, they wanted me to let my brother eat my snacks, even though the only brand that tasted good was so expensive that we could afford just 6 little packeges per month, while he had his snacks, and mine. Because keeping my snacks for myself was unfair and selfish. Right. They just made it all look so normal, as if I shouldn't be affected at all. And when we went out for dinner, I had to bring my little plastic bowl with my cold meal, the same old things I always ate (and my parents cooked terribly), while others were tasting the restaurant's food, enjoying new flavours and all the fancy stuff. Some pitied me, others also had the courage to ask me how my meal tasted. It was quite hard. Looking at a buffet and knowing that I couldn't eat a thing, wanting to just run away and hide when all the other kids were cheering because my friend's mum was coming out of the kitchen with a wonderful birthday cake. The hardest thing was that for my parents it was all normal, according to them, I had all waht I needed. When someone asked "and what's she going to eat?" they answered "oh, don't worry: she has her things". Yep. A shitty packaged mini-plum-cake and tasteless rice cakes. I'm the happiest kid in the world. Why would I want a cake? For me the bare minimum's enough, but don't you dare taking away from others all the fun fancy stuff. And my stuff also.
I don't know, maybe it suonds stupid, but for me it was tough