My Thought Catalog
Part one: Intro
My name is Meesh, a listener at Seven Cups of Tea. I identify as a non binary, individual, Pagan with invisible disorders (including anxiety and chronic migraines). I am about to have a fifth sibling, me being the oldest. I have been a witch for three years, though I have been studying since middle school (roughly twelve years ago). Currently, I am saving up to attend culinary school to help achieve my dream of opening a bakery.
My experiences vary, but they make me who I am; they inspire and feed into my intrinsic need to help others. I am a firm believer that our experiences shape who we are as human beings; even the [horrible] one's that we cannot control.
Part Two: Wording
When I attened university to complete my general ed requirements, I volunteered as a Violence Prevention Peer Educator (VPPE for short). During our meetings, we always brought up wording. The thing is, you don't realize how much of an impact words can have on you until they do. The first time that I was called a victim was by my therapist, who immediately apologized and moved on. It was nothing then. The second was during an interview I had with a couple of campus police officers. While I felt fine at first, it sank in when I left the office (that is, the office of my supervisor as a VPPE). I couldn't breathe; the weight of the world crushed my chest and I sobbed for the remainder of the night.
Once, I looked up the definition of "victim". It's been a few years since I did that, but I still remember what the dictionary said: "a person who is cheated or fooled by someone else". You don't fool/trick someone into sexual assault or abuse, but you defintely cheat them. You cheat them out of time, money, precious memories now overtaken by trauma, etc. But there is/was no trickery involved. So I'm not a victim. "Survivor" is someone who continues to live, despite being put in a [life] threatening situation. When I was assaulted, I felt numb; void of all emotion. With all the previous traumas, it just made the void more draining. Every single traumatic event took a chunk of my being, taking bits of my life force each time. So, by definition, I was not a survivor and I definitely didn't consider myself a victim.
I simply...was. I still don't identify with either term, though other are free to use what they will. For me, it is still quite triggering, being called a "victim". The memories flood back in, each tiny detail.
Just some random thoughts on how words have affected me.
Until next time,
Meesh (they/them)
edited by dancingRainbow45 removed a couple words considered potentially offensive or triggering
@MeeshMontgo2 Thanks for your post and you make some great points in the post about how wording can be important and how people identify themselves. I think a lot of the definitions of words are often based on definitions written years ago that do not necessarily move with the times. Its a bit like law, law is very old and definately needs updating because often court causes try to apply the law of today based on definitions of over one hundred years ago where a word had an entirely different meaning. I think if cheated and fooled are odd words to try and apply in the case of sexual assault etc. Often a person is exploited in some way, manipulated and made to feel powerless and afraid. The word Survivor is often used by people who do not wish to identify with the word victim because to them that feels almost like their abuser still has some kind of power or hold over them. Everyone is different and all that really matters is that the individual is helped to overcome their experiences, where they can regain that sense of control, safety, power or self love that was so robbed of them when they went through the traumatic experience but its always interesting to hear from people, like yourself how you see the words, victim and survivor so thank you :)
