Name one emotion you are feeling today.

Im not okay at all

tired

i'm restless and fidgety. my new employer is asking for a character reference from my previous employer but i lasted only a month from first job. i really thought i dodged that requirement when i lied and told during the interview that i didn't get their number but now that they're asking me to get a certificate of employment, they're asking me to get a character reference again, and i'm so worried at what my supervisor from my previous job would say. i was thinking of sending a message my former supervisor but i'm terrified at what she'd respond to that.

Sad, alone, tired

Sleepy. C has his field trip today and he woke me up at 4:45 am to help get him ready. I'm just ughhhhh! Told him it was too early and he came into bed but shit he asked almost every five to ten minutes if it was time. Good grief kid. So I'm up now and I'm gonna get him ready

Triggers. I feel Disgusted by humans. In the complex where I live, a number of women - try two - disclosed molestation. One said outright she was molested and the other said that one of her relatives was a bad man. One weirdly informed me that one of her in laws said she was raped but that she "didn't believe her." Two of them took the time and trouble to tell me that another neighbour - let's call her Sally - had allegedly stated she was raped by someone who visited her. They question her story b.c. apparently she said she had an orgasm yet one of them told me she showed her some bruises. I haven't a clue why ppl would reveal something so personal. This woman actually told me this happened to her and I had a lot of empathy and I never said anything about it. One of my neighbours got very angry with me - very old woman - when I said "poor lady" saying "she invited him over!" As if that makes it OK. After she told me saying not to say anything.

I'm trying to figure out the mentality of women who disclose personal things, don't believe other women who state they have been raped, and blame the victim. When the other woman told me about it - right in the courtyard - I was so shocked I just laughed. It wasn't funny - it was a nervous response.

I feel literally sick to my stomach that I'm around gossipy evil bottom feeders who blame other women for their traumas. They seem to question this woman's story and think it's bullshit b.c. she said she had pleasure from it.

What kind of people do I live with? I need to move and pray I can. I'm super sensitive and sincerely regret talking to anyone in this place, I knew when I moved to this community I should keep to myself. So far, anytime I venture out of that, it is confirmed. I've met truly horrific people living here. Gossipy, judgmental, two faced, and disclosing things that should never be disclosed, the type who blame women for wearing short skirts for their rape. I'm sick to my stomach. Oh yeah, I'm a survivor of CSA from my father.

Regret. I cant help but wonder what if I had chosen my passion as the major I studied in college.

Depressed and feeling down. I feel as though nobody notices me anymore wherever I go and I barely get to socialize with my friends in school. It feels like I am invisible when I don

Regret and confusion. Am I making the right choices to keep myself healthy?

Blessed. And just a tiny bit anxious. My mother in law is TRYING to get to me. But I'm practicing my breathing and positivity techniques to downplay her......shall we say game? Idk but I had an absolutely amazing night with my dh yesterday and I'm not about to let her ruin it.