Sex trafficked
Dear diary,
Life has been unexpectedly rough since I was a child. Born and raised in both Washington state and California I was raised by both a single mom, a married father years apart from each other. My mother was a drug addict with a look out for money and her next fix. That's where I came in. I was her key to making her life rich. At 5 years old I began to "play" with men (and women) of all ages. Now the memories of these moments were faded as I dissociated to somewhere else. But later on I found myself one day scared to even leave my room... To even talk to anyone... So I got some therapy and instantly all the memories came flooding in. Since then I've been trying to heal and deal with the trauma.
For those wondering what happened to my mom.... She killed herself when I was 16. I will be adding to this diary every so often to keep y'all updated with my progress in my healing.
@Casspep
I admire your survival instincts and your courage. I'll be reading your diary.
Reading your post broke my heart, but I so admire your courage and resilience. First, I want to say that I am so sorry you went through this. Dissociation is a powerful instinct, for sure. And it can save you from severe pain and trauma at the moment. The problem is when those memories bubble to the surface again, as you've described. There are some really powerful tools that you can learn to process those memories and traumas. You mentioned having seen a therapist, but it sounds as though you may not be having scheduled visits. I just want to say that finding someone you truly click with and trust is essential to get through sexual abuse traumas. It requires a higher level of trust. Also, a cognitive behavior therapist can be very helpful since they teach the CBT tools to help with traumatic memories. I know from personal experience (as well as being professionally certified in CBT) because it just really changed my life and my husband's life. Anyway, I'm here if you need to chat 1 on 1. I'm always here to listen and reflect with you to help support you through this hard time.
@Casspep
Please know im here to support you and we all want to see you rise up and heal completely so you can find your happy purpose in this world. Look for the good!
