Sexual assault
In Dec 2016, I was approached by a guy after gym who said that he is a personal trainer and can train me. Throughout the 3 hours, he grabbed my waist 2 times, touched my butt 2 times during squat, tried to carry me, pushed me to stand up to check my butt by touching, pushed me to sit down and massaged me with his hand coming from behind onto my chest. He asked for a hug when we were about to part, I gave him a pat on the back and he pushed me and forced hug me for more than a minute.
When I said I do not want to meet him again, he insisted that I give him reasons. He denied touching me and said that he touched me to guide me. He said he had better places to touch.
I was confused whether he purposely did all this, because he acted as if it is very normal everytime. He is soft spoken and he looked sincere at times. This has caused me to become crazy. If someone touch you because he likes you, does it make it less bad? I felt scared when walking on the street. What if people think that it is perfectly okay to touch me?
I felt disgusted with myself as I was friendly and polite to the perpetrator throughout.
I feel dirty, behave horribly to others, stop contacting most friends and went to live alone in Japan. Lost my gym hobby due to this, no interest in taking care of myself. I have been jobless for 3 months now.
I have someone I like until now and I felt that I have betrayed him by talking to someone else. I missed him but we will never meet again, even though he is also in Japan.
@kokakola I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. This is a video that I like to share about consent. It's done in a man's point of view, but directed at men on how consent works. If a woman says no, doesn't give an answer, even if she has said yes in the past, but now says no - doesn't mean she gives consent!! No what the situtaion a man should not force himself on a woman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU
@ShawnEdgingtonLPC
I have watched the video, thank you :)
@kokakola I also wanted to say that just because you were friendly or kind does not excuse the other person's behavior or give them permission. Many times our brains are automatically protecting us by choosing between the fight flight or freeze. I often tell children and women thatif they were probably scared of their abusers, smaller, physically weaker and therefore if they were to confront or fight them off they may have been in more danger.
