Some days can be beyond darkness
Recently, in my family we had a lot going on. With my sibling having psychotic episodes, my parents were restless about it. I tried to stay calm so I won't make it worse. I had to face lots of fights, violence, verbal abuse arguments. i am a anxious person so I get easily scared if someone shouts. During this time i had to go through so much of it. i was lost on who to help and support whether my parents or sibling. I was apart myself because of it. In the end i had to see a huge break out my parents fighting got violent, i had no idea how to control it, I told myself to be strong through everything but that moment when I saw them hitting each other, verally abusing each other, I lost it, I was in tears. My sibling was still not stable, still I had not one to call out for help, so I called my sibling but they joined in and hit my mom I was broken. I lost everything thought but seeing them like that I was scared and heart broken. I ended up being more tramtized by everything I saw. Now even the smallest loud noise terrifies me, I am hearing voices which makes me more anxious. In the end I still don't know how to keep it together.
That isn't good. If you live in the states or any provinces I would advise getting a hold of cps to take you and your siblings out of that situation. I know you might be upset with your siblings for joining in but they may be just as afraid as you are and just joining in to not get beat themselves.
@simplelife2468 This sounds a really tough situation for you to be dealing with and from the sounds of it with very little help. Unsure what country your in, but if your worried about your safety and that of your parents and siblings, you can always try and see if mental health could offer any support to your sibling who is ill. I dont know if they are already involved but it sounds as if you could do with more support than you are currently getting. Also if your concerned for anyones wellbeing, you can also make contact with Social Services and ask for a safeguarding check to be done. Failing that or if thats not an option for you, as you must feel comfortable with any decision you make, it is possible for you to talk to someone you know about whats happening for you, even if only to get some support for yourself? Your parents may be facing stresses and strains which is understandable if there is illness happening within the family but violence is never an answer and has devastating effects on anyone who witnesses this, and it is not your responsibility to stop this, it shouldnt be happening for you to feel responsible in the first place. If you need to talk to anyone, please remember there are people here who you can reach out to who perhaps can help you look at what options you have for support and who can support you in making whatever decisions you decide is right for you.
@simplelife2468
Hey. This is quite late, but I know exactly what you are going through. Two years ago, my mother dated someone that ended up being physically abusive to her and to his dog. After a year of living with him, he threatened to kill my mother, sister, and I, and said he wanted to set the house on fire. I always avoided getting into conflict with him, but I complained to my mother about his loud music and video games, and he told her that he would hit me if I disrespected him again. That man had issues, and I was terrified for my mother's safety. I'll leave the details out. Thankfully, she kicked him out right after that, and he moved roughly 3,000 miles away to go live with his mother.
I know it's tough now, but, believe me, it will not go on like this forever. Domestic violence is absolutely horrible to endure, but it does end at some point. If the fighting gets out of hand, and if your family is okay with it, you could try calling the police. I always wanted to, but my mother begged me not to. So, if your family doesn't mind, you could give it a try and the police will put a stop to it. Still... It will be okay. I mean that. I know it's tough, but you have to stay strong. Also, please, talk to someone about it if you can. Talking and writing about traumatic events are extremely helpful. I wish now that I had written more about the violence, because I like to go back and recall painful memories as part of my healing methods. It's interesting to read the things I had written in middle school (a.k.a. the worst time of my life).
This thread is a bit old, so I'm going to ask: How are things going now? Does your family still argue? Are you in counseling, or do you need to be? I hope things are better now. If not, you can talk to me anytime. I do understand what you are going through. Just last year, I was extremely anxious, stressed, and jumpy too. Every time a door slammed at school, I got so angry, and I wanted to break down and cry. I'm better now. It DOES get easier in time. I really hope that you're better now, although it does take time for the wounds to heal. They eventually will. Just stay strong, dear. It will not go on like that forever.
