TW: Assault, Why College Sucks Right Now

I have a history of very bad abuse since I was in middle school with my ex boyfriend. When I got to college, I found a boy that I thought was so sweet and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me or at least would take responsibility for what he did if he did anything like that.

We had a wonderful 6 months together. Went to Disneyland. He made me feel so so loved. However, when we came back to school, we had a big argument and he broke up with me. I accepted it, just asked him what had happened and then suddenly he asked if instead it could be a break. I said sure, I loved him and wanted to work things out. Then I realized I didnt think his communication skills were the best for a relationship and I decided to end things off, so I tried to end things only for him to spend an hour telling me how much hed work on it and invest into our relationship and I believed him so I said I wanted to give it another go and then he said he wasnt sure anymore.

Obviously, from the outside, its simple that I should have just stepped out then bc he was breaking down my self worth (maybe intentionally, maybe subconsciously).

Then he changed his mind again and decided he needed to have sex with me. Right then and there. He tried to force his hands down my pants and while he didnt forcibly penetrate me he did continue to touch me while I cried out lets do this on Saturday, not right now, this isnt a good time.

He told one of my few friends here that Im a liar.

I feel alone.