The last four years

The last four years have nearly destroyed me. I spent them with a man who abused me emotionally and then turned around and was a Prince. Always keeping me off kilter. And Im disabled so he used that against me, used his financial help as something to hang over my head. He became more and more verbally abusive, calling me many derogatory names, always yelling at me, everything my fault. Then one day he pulled a gun, told me he knew what I was up to, and accused me of cheating,which never ever did.

He he wasnt always a monster. He was my best friend once. A long time ago. Weve traveled the world together, we used to be so good. But he became abusive, and I never found out why.

edited by dancingRainbow45 Inappropriate language against trauma community guidelines on posting

I had had to run.

I miss the old guy I knew. My heart is broken. I have nightmares where hes screaming CUNT in my face, or breaking teacups on the wall next to my head. All things he really did. Even worse are the dreams from way back when. When we were good. It makes me miss him. My abuser. Im screwed.