Too emotional - my discovery.

Hey everyone. I'm back again to hopefully help some people out. I'm going to write here my experience, maybe you can take something out of it, who knows. If I can help someone feel better than my mission is done.

Trauma really messes us up doesn't it? We often feel that we are overreacting and then we have the usual feeling of being too emotional. In fact I even did a thread here on 7cups mentioning how oddly emotional I was, wondering if it was normal.

After research, work on myself and a very good therapy session, I realised it wasn't. So allow me to show you what I learned.

I mentioned to my therapist I (this is just an example of how I get emotional) cry randomly. I can just break down crying with certain things, so she asked me to say an example and so I did.- "babies. they make me cry". I told her at first that hey maybe was my wish to be a mother (which is also true). After a good while we discovered was trauma. She told me trauma victims often have subconscious flashbacks or triggers without realising. Might be sounds, colours, someone from a certain age group and many more things. And in my case babies made me cry because 1) they remind me how there's actual innocence and mine was taken away due to my ex , 2) how when I was going through grief and bullying my baby sister was all I had to get a hold of myself.

So after years and years of people saying "you're too emotional!" and leaving because of it, I realised it wasn't "natural", it wasn't "my personality". Was trauma.

At first I was so... confused. But the more days went by (and a one way ticket to hospital since this shocked me so much) I realised it was indeed true.

I realised how certain voices triggered me, certain ticks, certain smells, certain sounds, certain speeds, etc. And this all made me usually break down crying histerically or have rage attacks.

And why? because our brain in trauma either 1) went through a single traumatic experience so strong that it "replays" over and over later on, 2) when in constant abuse our brain loses track of what is right and wrong and assumes all these triggers later on in life, even if you don't realise it.

Now I'm almost 23 years old and I realised I'm ok. I'm not too emotional. Alot of pain made me this way. And maybe you who are reading, maybe you have people pointing fingers and you never though trauma could directly affect you so much.

Whateaver your case is I just want to say you are not alone. And if you need to vent feel free to do so in this thread.