Trauma Memories and D.I.D.
Hi, my name is Saebyeok.
When I was a child, I went through repeated traumas that caused Dissociative Personality Disorder (DID) (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). The problem is, there are entire years of my childhood that I have absolutely no memory of. My parents often tell me stories from trips we took when I was 6 or 7, but I don't have the slightest recollection. I feel like my childhood was stolen by my disorder and traumas.
DID causes amnesia, and it affects me severely. Often, I will blackout for days at a time and when I return i'll be in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. I feel like I've completely lost control. I'm not living my own life. It's been stolen by my disorder.
How do I go on like this?
@saebyeok Hi, that's an issue here as well. There's not much in the way of childhood memories here either. A good therapist can help you figure out things. It is frustrating and scary at times though. It's still a fairly new diagnosis for us and it's going to take some getting used to. Getting communication going with other alters is and can be one of the hardest things to do but it helps a lot. From there you can decide if you all want to work together or possibly work towards integration. Which in all honesty, is a word we're not comfortable with. But that's here. It could be different for you. Every system is unique in how it works. Try to be patient with yourself and any others you may have. You can find what works for you.
It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Logan, I'm an alter of J's.
I'm so sorry!
I assume you have a therapist? Maybe Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help. It helped someone dear to me who had a very traumatic incident as a child.
I recommend also finding ways of activating both sides of your brain. A creative/art hobby and a logic based hobby/study.
And my go-to for anything....journal! It might help you and a therapist spot triggers for these episodes