Trauma in romantic relationships - my experience and enlightening therapy session.

So this will be a thread out of my personal experience. I thought I could share to see if someone can cope better with their trauma. Hopefully will help you somehow :)

Well since I've been through abuse with my ex my anger got really bad. I isolated myself from people, I had rage attacks, always in the defensive like "better hurt you first than being hurt" type of mentality.

However today I just came out of a therapy session that honestly opened my eyes SO much.

To this day I always got angry at myself, thinking "you're a smart woman how could you submit yourself to abuse... you let this happen you're so dumb".

But today my therapist said "how was it your fault? He knew you had pain, low self esteem and no information about abuse in teens dating. You weren't in any way with the right mind. He was a coward and manipulative, any abuser is. Tell me, if a family member got through it you wouldn't blame the victim would you? You would blame the agressor".

Honestly this was so... enlightening. I always assumed it was my fault, I was so angry. But I just realised I was a victim. He was never a good person. He did what he did because he had issues himself and never faced them because he's a coward. However I'm innocent on this. That I should forgive myself and allow myself to be happy and give a second chance to people, because I'm wonderful and the abuse I went through was a fucked up human being, it wasn't my choise, but it was a crime. Specially considering I was 17.

This said I hope some of you guys can somehow get inspired or maybe get motivation to face your feelings and issues.

Also feel free to comment how you feel about this. What are your feelings on it? Do you blame yourself ? Or have you forgiven yourself? And anything else you want to add.