**Trigger Warning**

On Nov. 13, 2017- I started dating the very first person I've ever felt any attraction too (i'm demisexual). For 3 months were going the way I wanted it too, minimal intimacy. But 3 months and 8 days passed since we first started dating, he came to school drunk (it was spirit week) he pushed me into a corner of the area right in front of my classroom, doing what sometimes does. Asks me to have sex with- I'm not ready. "no- I don't think so. I don't really want to" He keeps pushing vocally and physically. I could taste the liquor on his lips. It burns. "ok.. um. fine" He broke his promise the very one I wish I held him to. "I won't do anything until it is you say 'yes' and it has to be 'yes'" So there on the unisex bathroom floor I am lying on the ground and I can hear the bustling in the halls. Why didn't I call out? But I love him. Don't get him in trouble. Don't hurt him. So pretend you like it. It hurts. He stops and holds me so gently and for a second I feel the safety like used to feel, I feel warm. I loved him. I protected for a year and tomorrow I am contacting him for last time. We graduate in a couple of days and even though don't hate him, I am scared of him. My skin still burns sometimes I can't even feel comfortable with my own skin touching my skin. I am scared but I need closure.