Trying to forget the trauma
Sometimes I feel like the traumatic experiences I've been through happened yesterday. They are always there in my mind and they affect my thinking and behaviour a lot. I know that me and my life would be so different if it all didn't happen, but it did. It's debilitating, because it confuses me. I cannot decide what is right. If I trust, am I naive? If I don't trust, am I paranoid? My brain is overestimating danger on a regular basis. Because of this, sometimes I am amazed, how carelessly people live. I think that this is their ignorance, and not bravery; or maybe they are the ones who are brave and I am a coward? I have no idea. The world is both black and white, regardless of what pair of glasses I wear today. Sometimes it is black and white at the same time, and then people call it grey. We can have many different experiences with the exact same thing. I feel like I got a superpower to see the dark, dangerous side of everything. There is nothing more meticulous than my brain, which takes into consideration every probability, every detail. Sometimes I wish someone took it away. Can I ever wipe the stains of trauma from my glasses? Someone please, tell me I can.
"Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up, when September ends" ~ Green Day.
@Helba , Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today. It sounds like your experience has left you feeling quite confused about your emotions and the perspectives that people usually take in their lives, which is understandable. It is hard to keep discovering remains from an event that one does not want to remember in their everyday life. It also sounds like you really want to hear someone provide you with affirmation that things will be alright one day, Im here to tell you that they will. The road to recovery requires a lot of work and time, we are all here to support you in your journey.
"I'm thinking about a brand new hope, The one I've never known. Cause' now I know it's all that I wanted." - Green Day, Macy's Day
Law of Attraction
It's a life changer , but currently I am in the emergency mode and not in the creative side , unless I go to that creative side , I won't be able to manifest anything . I am tired I just need healing and rest . Wounds must be healed , one can't go to a war with their bleeding wounds . :-( I hope things get back to track and I am healed . Anxiety is the cause of my depression . I want to feel alive . . . Being alive is not enough , feeling alive is also important . I wish I had just somebody to support me when I began to lose hope . I hate being so alone with no one around me to support me in times when I feel like giving up . Except a bunch of strangers , I never hear kind words from anyone .
@Helba, its a painful thing to go through and I totally understand you . We can talk here and share the pain we are going through , sharing means caring <3