Was it abuse? I feel it was all my fault and I

September has been one of the worst months of my life. I went to LA to see if i liked UCLA and a program they have there. Also I had been texting and face-timing this guy from back home who is living there (hes 29 and 24). So part of me was also planning this trip to finally see him, I thought we had developed a cool connection, we liked each other and really was looking forward to seeing him. I got to LA and saw him the day after my arrival. He came on pretty strong and before I had even seen his face he aggressively french kissed me. I was a little weirded out but was like hey you know Ill give him an opportunity (our parents were childhood friends and our families had known each other since forever. However, we had never interacted out irl). I went with him to a store to get some things he wanted for this new painting hes working on and wanted to show me. We went to his place and things escalated he didn't even wanna talk to me he clearly just wanted to have sex. I was uncomfortable but i was like hey he is the guy with which i have been talking for hours daily for three months! So I was like ok everythings ok! We started kissing and it was ok, he wanted to take my clothes off and i refused several times, he kept insisting and took my T-shirt off then he asked me to take my bra off, to which i said no, he put his hands underneath it and touched my breast, I said no and he kept going, He said it was totally normal and i was the one being weird for not wanting it. We kept going and he took his pants off, i told him i was not like that and that i didn't wanna have sex, he kept kissing me and said everything we were doing was normal, i was feeling really uncomfortable and not like myself, he started to unbutton my pants and I told him to stop, he said my pants were hurting him and he really needing to take em off, he just kept making me feel guilty and I kept saying no and he just wouldnt understand that I was uncomfortable. He was naked and trying to get me naked to. I kept saying no and he kept insisting and doing as he pleased. I felt vulnerable and did not know what to do, it was as if My bran had been unplugged, i told him to not take my underwear off and he proceded to put his penis on top of my underwear i felt repulsed by it told him he needed to stop, that i had never had sex and he said he would have an issue w it. He kept pressing himself against me and touching me even though i kept saying no and was looking really uncomfortable. After he realized we were not gonna have sex he changed his attitude looked really uncomfortable and serious. He told me after a while that it was not an LA thing to drive girls places so that i should call an uber. I was in shock and felt used, dirty and stupid. He ended up taking me back to where i was staying. He stopped talking to me after a few days. I was feeling like shit and felt that i had been used and not respected so when my mom called me one day she could tell something was wrong. I started crying and told her everything, she told me that what he had done was abusive and not normal. I felt like it was all on me. After a week of him being MIA he sent me a text asking for forgiveness and called me several times. I never picked up or replied. He told me he owed me an explanation and that I did not deserve to be treated that way. Two weeks later he blocked me off every social media possible. I replied to his dm and told him that was freaked out w the whole situation. (This was about a week and a half after we saw each other) He called me and told me that the past two days had been the worst of his life that he received a call from my mother saying that he had abused me and basically defending me and letting him know that iwasn't alone. He said he felt the need to call his lawyer friends and get advice to which they said he should block me and delete any sign of contact with me. I started crying, he made me feel guilty of everything and i ended up apologizing for telling my mom and overreacting and telling him that he was not the person I thought he was. He told me he was sorry but that he had not been able to deal w my virginity so he had preferred to stop talking to me but that bc of his friends advice he would have to cut contact. I feel broken bc of the whole situation. I feel dirty, used and depressed. I have been crying a lot. I have had depression before and thought i had overcome it but now i just feel lost and don't wanna talk or see anyone. All of my friends wanna see me to talk about how my trip went and i just don't want to fake, i feel like trash, i feel stupid i feel like it all is my fault and for the longest time i had been lost, and for the first time i was excited about something, i had finally found something i liked in LA with the program and now it feels to me like LA is ruined for me. Was it abuse? I told him no and he touched me and did things to me even though i said no but we did know each other. Im not a prude, im 24 and I have done things just never sex sex. He made mw feel like Im flawed bc of the fact I haven't had sex. This is being really hard, I feel worthless, used, stupid, I brought all this upon myself. I had been so much better, and now I feel really depressed again. I feel like I cant do this anymore. Just as I thought I was getting better and having more clarity with what to do with my life this happens and tears me apart again.