What happened?
A few months ago I was at my friend'shouse, some other friends of hers were there too. We had been drinking quite a bit. The last thing I remember was hanging out with this guy. A little while later I woke up in her bed with him. I felt gross and physically sick to my stomach. Peoplethere looked concerned and started asking if I was okay. Icouldn't tell them because I don't even know whathappened. I don't know ifI gave consent or tried to stop. Some people would consider that rape, but how would I know if I don't even remember what happened?
To be 100% honest with you, you chose to drink enough to where you don't remember anything so you are just as responsible for what happened as the other person . But there's no need to stress yourself over what's already been done. This happens to many people at some time or another. Its happened to myself before too. The best thing is to take it as a lesson learned. Next time be more aware of how much alcohol you're consuming & who you're surrounding yourself with. You an you alone have control over situations like these. Take it as a lessons and maybe not get too carried away with drinking next time.
Also because you are unsure of what happened you may wanna be safe and get tested for all the things unprotected sex can bring. Like you said, you're not even sure if it happened but it's best too be extra safe! Hopefully this was helpful. Sorry if it was too honest. I've been in you're shoes though. It happens to a lot of young people
If you were too out of it to consent or know what was going on then you are definitely not equally responsible for what happened! Having sex with someone who is incapable of giving convent is rape! Do you know the other person? If so could you talk to them to try and put pieces together of what actually happened? I imagine you are feeling very confused, so try and think about the last things you remember and go from there. Talk to your friends who were there as well. I hope you are ok x
I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm playing the victim here. I did drink quite a bit. But everyone started asking if I was okay and when I asked what they were talking about they didn't say anything. They won't tell me what happened
You need to find out what they know. Maybe talk to one of them one-to-one or even over text and say you need to know.
You are not "playing the victim" just because you chose to drink a lot doesn't make any actions the other person chose to take your fault.
I deeply apologize for what I said. I didn't take in account that the other person may have not been at the same level of drunkeness as you. I didn't mean to put all the blame on you. If the person was completely sober I agree that it was in fact rape but if you were both drunken to the point of not being in control I have to stick with my side. But that's just my own personal opinion. If you feel you have been wronged I would seek further professional help. The main point I was trying to make was to not get drunken to the point where you can't at least try to control the situation. I'm very sorry if you or anyone else felt like I was pinning the blame 100% on you. Just be careful of how much you drink
I don't blame you. I understand what you were trying to say. I just want to know what happened. But no one is telling me anything.
I don't know if you are in the states or UK but planned parenthood is really understanding. I would make an emergency appointment in there, if you didn't use a condom they may be able to tell you whether or not something happened, and can test you/start preventative treatments right away. They also have counselors there. You might want to try a rape counseling hotline too? If you google that you should find something. They will be able to help you with everything. You deserve support and respect right now, whatever happened. Be strong.
Oh right it was a few months ago. But still please do get checked out physically/emotionally. I'm worried about you. What brought this to your mind now by the way?
I don't blame you. I know what you were trying to say. And it's just been really stressful not knowing what happened. Or not remembering. All I know is when I woke up the next morning I was sore and I felt disgusting. I feel like..dirty. Ruined. It just sucks...
You should definitely pull one of your friends to the side & ask him/her to be completely honest with you & tell you what happened. I find it interesting how you was at a friend's house, and no one stepped up and helped you out since you were completely drunk . A good friend would've taken you home or try to calm you down. Talk to your friends & I agree with the person who said you should go and get checked, especially since you didn't know that person. While you were drunk you wasn't being yourself hunny, the guy was irresponsible too for taking advantage of someone who was clearly drunk.
