Where do I go now?

Not sure what to do my husband was charged with sexual assault against my (then) 23 year old daughter 7 years ago I Moved away with our (then) 11 year old daughter and started a new life. Me and my youngest daughter spent 6 months in a women's refuge,I lost my home,job,friends and rarely got to see my older daughters as they didn't move with me I took him to court,he was found guilty and got a suspended sentence I recently contacted him to ask if he would sign divorce papers, he agreed Since then he messages me every day asking how I am and I'm scared as I can see the person he used to be when I first met him I know, realistically, we could never be together again . I know I should hate him, and I do, but I also love him