blugh angry post if you dont like anger or swears dont read it

i need a place to let things out i'm angry right now. i talked to someone since january online and they just walked away...it's been so painful. im so alone. im judged daily for my circumstances and too paranoid to list what they are, online isn't safe, nowhere is safe. im sick of ptsd and all the darkness. i have triggers from neighbours and i miss this person more than i can say.

i had class again today, i signed up for a martial arts class, the guy was kinda a **** to me, being judgmental and asking an odd q...another person who knows me actually told someone where i live...i live in a "special" community so that was wrong...i am **** sick of arrogant people masquerading as humans, humans just want someone to kick...im an easy target....so angry at all the abuse ive had in my life just for being me...**** people. im seriously savagely angry right now, **** them all....i miss my friend. i work hard, no one else does, when does love and care come for me. i was there for a friend and she had the gall to say when i was with her she was bored... you you idiot... im sick of negative obsessive thoughts. im sick of them taking away some of my ins. im sick of being the whipping dog for a world that doesn't give a care about what happened to me, trapped by stigma and low income and many things...sick of this planet. ppl suck, they truly do. gave up on religion too, god is either unconditionally loving or im not interested. i work super hard to go nowhere. i hate f***** humans. i always will. all i feel is loss and pain and ive been sui most of my life. screw the ppl who hurt me, and screw fake christian forgiveness. if you want to lay that burden on yourself go ahead but dont **** me with it......thanks...i hate this planet. we kill animals and the earth and there is so much evil...chemicals in the air and food and products that harm ppl...all is greed...stupid man cutting off his left arm to favour his right...sooner or later the branch collapses... i know the worst ppl can do. *** them all. i hate this planet. i just do. the only good person i know right now is a teenaged kid who has been there for me. and another person with ptsd. everyone else is selfish judgmental i avoid most ppl now. one day there will be justice...karma is a honey. you all will get yours. i dont have to lift a finger. i wont go there. violence is not the answer but damn the way i feel right now i wish there would be some karmic justice. ill wait for it. humans are rotten creatures. they just are. and nobody is gonna convince me otherwise. be a good person and trust me, they'll let you down for what they lack...the ultimate evil is a human being. read about an acid attack on a muslim woman and her cousin...case closed...who would do that....i pray but why...it does nothing. one day this world will end thank god. b/c down here it all sucks. i hate life.

edited by dancingRainbow45 on 27/06/2017 Inappropriate language against guidelines. Moving to Tell us about it/get it off your chest