i have DID and i dont know how to cope

for over 5 years now weve been aware of our existence as alters and weve figured out a lot on our own but its terrifying. its scary and we dont know what to do. we're polyfragmented with numbers in the hundreds. most of us are fragments and i hate it. im probably a fragment and i hate it. i hate existing like this and i dont know how to handle it. integration isnt something we want but. i don't know what to do. its hard not being able to tell people about us. all having to share the same name. all having to wear the same face. pretend to be the same age. try to speak with the same voice. its awful and i hate it. i just want to be me but i cant. its so terrifying trying to trust anyone with our existence. i dont. know how to handle it. im fairly new to this system so maybe itll get easier for me soon but. i hate it.