losing control
please bear with me... I hear things in my head that tell me to do things. I shouldn't be posting this should just keep it to myself. I can see myself doing things.. makes me sick
I feel so angry all the time. It's powerful, I feel powerful. BUt violent, scarey because I want to act on it. I tried to tell the therapist but I couldn't, I can't I don't know why. Hard to control .
@mytwistedsoul Hey soul, I really appreciate you reaching out to us and opening up. It's not the easiest thing to do. How have you been doing lately? It sounds like you are quite conflicted. I am so proud of your resilience; you show so much strength just for being here. We are here for you, and feel free to reach out to the listeners at any time if you ever need to chat with someone. Best wishes! *hugs if you are okay with it* :)
@lovelyWhisper66 Hey How are you?
Thank you, honestly...the opening up is hard. It goes against everything I know. Somedays...well somedays I don't know if it's strength or just stupidity. It feels like everyday I go to war, but the rules of engagement change. Not sure if that makes sense. Some days are harder than others...some days are just hell.
Take care
@mytwistedsoul So here's an example... You want to cut up an apple, but you're afraid to pick up what you need to cut it up. Your hands start to shake and there's this urge, a picture of, oh man you can just see what you could do with it. So you walk away but damn there's something still whispering in your ear..do it. Like standing on top of a big building...and that little voice tell's you that you can fly.... Gonna be one of those days.