trying to cope with abuse

It started when i was 6 my brother came in my bed at night and feel me up. I was too afraid to tell. He was already in charge when my parents left and he religiously mistreated each opportunity so i know telling was not a. Option tho in hind sight i wish i did. That continued every weekend ( i only live there on weekends) for about a year. One night my other brother caught him. I was So happy someone found out. But he didn't help. He was 2 years older than my first brother . ( 14 and 16). In fact the next night it was him. Over the next 4 years it escalated to oral sex and anal pebetration. By age 10 i cried so much about getting leave at home by parents they finally stopped leaving me home. Now I'm ten going by my god mother. My God brother was 14. ..he raped me for years..Crying.. I knew then no one would help. Growing up in A house full of brothers was rough . especially when my god brother and now my "new cousin on my daddy side" Starting having sleepovers. I should not have to give oral sex to 4 men in one day at age 11 Finally i got a bf. He was my saviour. My abuse didn't end til i was almost 14. We were both virgins hypothetically speaking. We waited til i was going on 17 to start having sex. Things were great till i started to remember. The memories came rushingback . Over whelming me. I finally told my now fiance that i was raped. He doesn't know any details. I couldn't talk about it. We got married and 2 weeks Later i was waking up with a black eye. He had never hit me before then. For the 5 years of my marriage i endured spiritual, emotional abuse sexual and physical abuse. He moved to another island and left me and my 1 yr old daughter to suffer . we finally followed him. More abuse. Physical abuse . thrown out a moving car on the highway. Having to walk for 2 hrs at 1 am on a dark road him. Because i made him mad. Oh and when i reach he was sleeping. At 24 yrs old he Left again. This time i didnt follow. I'm finally free. In in my mid 30 and i have never really told my story. I'm not better im worse because now i know whats normal. Although ill probably never experience it.