CPTSD and finding ways to deal
CPTSD makes for so many challenges in dealing with people. For me people are the scariest thing ...... First of all trust is the hardest thing for me to do. When I encounter people on a lot of different levels in different parts of my life they make me so nervous. It's hard for me to read people it's hard for me to determine the good ones from the bad ones. There are a lot of bad people out there and a lot of them have done horrible things to me. I try to keep my circle very small because it's hard for me to handle when people are awful to me. (Sorry if I'm rambling. I don't always make sense)
This creates alot of traumatic aloneness. I try very hard to keep busy with things that are productive. I have alot of hobbies and I excercise alot. I don't work because of my severe CPTSD so I don't encounter alot of people. It seems that when I do go out and interact with others it's 9 out of ten a bad experience. I believe in the law of attraction and I try very hard to give positive vibes but there's some people that are just oozing horrible....and no amount of positive is going to change them.
I was out with a friend and she needed to stop at a relatives for something. When we arrived there was a guy there working on a renovation ( he was a friend of the relative) . He started coming on to me and I could tell he'd been imbibing . I took a few steps back and tried to avoid him. He was being rude to my friend and I wanted to say something but when I am in these situations I freeze. Thankfully we weren't there very long but I'm trying to come up with ways to deal with these types of situations.
I really like 7 cups it's been a great help to me, but I had a listener here and it went bad. The listeners spouse apparently didn't like their spouse using the app and they got on it and started basically yelling at me for messaging the spouse here. That really upset me I thought my interactions with the listener were for me to get support not to be judged by their other half.
These is just examples of some interactions I've had with people. I'm open to suggestions from people who are suffering CPTSD and how they cope with similar experiences.
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92
I hear you. It’s difficult to find people whom you can trust, and even if you form a friendship, they can go away for various reasons, often outside of your control.
Some of the problems, I think, but could be wrong, when we have trauma, attachment or codependency issues, we tend to look for friendships at the wrong places or for the wrong reasons.
Maybe it’s random and not helpful, but I just read this about friendships: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/06/six-ways-make-maintain-friends/661232/
BTW, we might have something in common. Check the intro subforum for my story if interested.
@Jack2nd
I'm glad you understand. ( Thx for the link)
I know myself better as I've been in therapy 4 years now. I had codependent behaviors but I recognize this now where I didn't before therapy. I stopped these behaviors once I recognized them . My fear of people drove these behaviors as a trauma response, like a protection shield. I also have serious attachment issues but I am working on them too. I don't cling, I tend to not attach at all ...this is why I don't connect with people. It's about trust. My trust has been bulldozed way too many times.
In a childlike way I was very naive because my emotional maturity was stunted so young ,but I was expected to act like an adult by the time I was 7. People who know me would never guess this perfectionist successful person has such trauma.
Someday I should write a book lol.
I just finished a book on narcissistic parents and it described my childhood perfectly. I understand why I can't connect but I would like to at some point before I diie. Lol.
Thanks for responding to my post. It really helps to know others like me are out there. It helps me feel normal.
ABB 💜
Gosh I can relate a lot. Happy to chat. Trust is so hard. I've only recently understood that I don't trust people and have been led to believe I should trust all. It's led to bullying, abuse and dangerous situations. I wish I could undo things that have happened. I wish all of this would go away but it won't. I'm here for you! I get it :)
@pvroom
Thanks for your post. I appreciate support from people who get it.
I too have had to deal with bullying. That's really a tough place to be. In my experience I couldn't find a solution to dealing with it. It happened to me at my job and I was in trauma so I was easily harassed and bullied. I found my workplace didn't know how to resolve bullying situations.
I'm sorry about the situations you want to undo. I feel that too. But I've learned there's nothing I can do about the past so I just have to make better choices in the present so my future is better. I just keep trying and I guess that's the best I can do .
I feel grateful for 7cuos it's been the extra support I've needed.
Thx again ABB