Cptsd and relationship breakdown
I am in a relationship with a partner who has CPTSD, and I keep triggering him somehow. He doesn't want to talk about it and if he gets triggered he becomes aggressive in his speech, verbally abuses me, will not let me speak at all to try and calm things down, and has come at me in an aggressive manner. He has never hit me, yet, but I fear as things progress that one day soon he will. Over the past several months things have broken down and I believe that I also suffer from CPTSD as thr more I learn about it, the more it fits with my very traumatic past. Today he broke up with me and it has been a horrible day. He has been triggered all day and has backed me into a corner. When I told him he was scaring me, he said I should be scared and that I terrified him (I'm the least aggressive person ever, I don't even kill mosquitoes). He finally backed off and left the room but I'm scared to be in the house. He usually ignores me for days when he perceives I've triggered him so I think he will stay in the spare room for tge rest of tge evening but I don't know for sure. He is unable to work with his mental health issues so I am financially responsible for everything and don't have the means to leave, or know anyone I could go to. I also don't want to make things worse by leaving because if I do, he feels attacked. I don't know how to de-escalate the situation.
@Hellotree311 This sounds like a very difficult and scary situation. It's even more difficult because he doesn't want to talk about it. He physically aggressive and I don't blame you for being concerned that it could reach the point where he might hit you. And to say you should be scared of him? That's not good either
Does he see a therapist? Do you? It could actually be alot of help to you both and if he doesn't want to - ok. Then you go for yourself - they can help you work through your trauma and even give you help and ideas that would be useful when he's triggered. Because - there has to be communication between you two - you need to be able to talk to him calmly but if he won't let you say anything - you're stuck. He needs to communicate with you what's triggering him - so you can help either work through them or even avoid them - eventually they will have to be dealt with because you can only avoid things for so long - but it's ok to start with avoiding them but you need to know or at least have an idea of what those triggers are
I know you said you don't have the means or any place to go but I do hope that if it reaches a point where you are unsafe and fear for your safety that you will leave - even if it's just to a motel for a few days or even to a park for a few hours
I hope things get to a point where you can both talk about these things and things get better
Take care and stay safe
