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Dealing with trauma and the education system

User Profile: limegreenHuman4997
limegreenHuman4997 January 21st, 2021

I needed to vent, and maybe someone can relate. I feel angry that my abusers get scholarships and entry into grad schools because their gpas were high. I have potential too and I love my field. I want to pursue a graduate program but my gpa record is not good enough. They left me with so many emotional scars that destroyed my confidence and motivation for a long time. I did not have much social support. I was suicidal because of this today (I am safe). Everythings a competition, everything is a game :(

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User Profile: ZeppelinsOverhead
ZeppelinsOverhead January 21st, 2021

@limegreenHuman4997 I know what you feel, Human. Watching someone who's done so much harm and inhibited your own success so much become more and more successful and happy can drive you crazy, if you let it. It's something you and I just can't control. Your gpa tanked during the abuse, or in the aftermath, right? Now that those people have moved on, it's really no use filling your head with ideas of their happiness. I know letting go isn't simple. It is something to work toward. What field are you studying?