Diagnosed
So, a while back I was diagnosed with ptsd from my mother. She didn't abuse me and in fact she never even hit me. My therapist said that my ptsd is due to the neglect and unloving nature my mother had towards me. Honestly I thought that was kinda dumb anddidn't really care for it. Now that I'm 20 and living with my girlfriend, I am starting to realize that maybe it had more truth behind it than I gave it credit. I'm not entirely sure though. I think I can explain a lot of how I act on how my mother treated me, but I hate the idea of using my mother as an excuse for the way I am. I am my own person and I should be responsible for myself. I honestly am very torn and don't even begin to know what I should do or how I should feel about all of this.
@FallenxX0
Thank you for sharing all this. First, please know that by trying to understand your past and how that correlates to you today is not using your mother as an excuse. We have to look at our history to understand ourselves and why we do what we do sometimes. It sounds like your journey is just beginning, but I am confident, you will be happier in the long run if you choose work on it now instead of waiting. We are all products of our past, but our pasts do not have define our future.
I can very much relate to being abused by my mother and also having difficulty understanding what that means and accepting it. It took years to say to myself “what she did to me was abuse.”
Something that helped me during that time was understanding that I couldn’t accept that truth about my last before, when I was living with her because it was unsafe. But when I moved and started building healthy relationships with people, it was the right time to process and heal from it.
It’s a hard but rewarding journey to confront your past. Be kind to yourself.