Did I do anything wrong or people mistreated me.

I am not sure if I really do have cPTSD or not but most of my symptoms does seems to match it. I think I was mistreated by almost every close friend since childhood some betrayed me and some left me when I was in extreme pain. There are some certain events which triggers me into extreme emotional stress resulting into anger and yelling. I loose my consciousness and there's nothing that I do intentionally at that time. Things that triggers me are like getting ignored by someone who is close to me or knowing that they lied to me about something and I have constant fear that they will leave me one day. I don't get close to anyone easily because people leaves me when I am not in my control they give me more trauma to deal with making things worse. Normally I am a calm and kind person if I am not dealing with some stressful memories but sometimes I do get flashbacks of something that hurted me. Many times I try to repress my anger as I feel extreme guilt and sorrow after that phase. My family never understood me and simply termed me as extremely angry person which I am not usually unless I get triggered by something or going through some flashbacks.

About a three years ago, I met a girl, we were in our senior year in college. I never wanted to talk or come close to her but she made me believe that I can rely on her and that she will be there to help if I open myself to her. Slowly I started trusting her and opened myself to her. After a while we started dating. Initially things went well. But after a while she started traumatizing me over and over again doing exactly those things which triggers me. She kept ignoring me and then lieing about the situation to make false excuses. This started making me uncomfortable and I badly wanted to discuss with her to not do this to me. But she kept ignoring. So, I wanted to end our relationship. But she starts crying and asked me to not end our relationship she is depressed about final year studies and finding job opportunities. And she says things which makes me empathetic towards her, I couldn't say anything so I accepted. I am not saying she never helped me, she did. But she always ignored my bigger issues thinking it's small. She kept ignoring me whenever I wanted to discuss why I am hurt. And she kept lieing to make some excuses which keeps triggering me. It became a pattern I get triggered atleast once a month. And everytime after I triggered and in my trauma phase she leaves me alone to suffer with it. She never tried to calm me to overcome that situation. Everytime after I recover from that phase she starts ignoring me even more she used to make me feel guilty about something that I can't control. She always has the options to make things right by doing things that doesn't affect me or simply could have talked to me how could she help in that situation. The most traumatizing thing happened when she broked with me after she got a job and all settled. She blamed it on me that I don't trust her and I keep yelling at her. I was deeply hurt by this how could she do it to me. She knew I am not mentally stable I don't have entire control over my emotions when I get triggered. I was always there for her when she needed me. Infact I helped her most in getting that job prioritising her more than myself. She used to get this extreme periods pain and vomiting. Almost always getting hospitalised, no one used to be there for her except me. She had some serius issues during her period which was ignored by her gynaec and family. I searched for a more expert who finally treated her and now she used to be in a better condition during her periods. Despite all this she ignored my problems she never helped me in healing with my issues. And when she got everything settled in her life she left me.

Now I get frequent flashbacks of everytime she left me alone when I needed her badly. I get flashbacks about all the fake promises she made to me. I constantly tries to keep thinking about if I did something wrong? Or she mistreated me? I feel like I won't be able to trust anyone anymore.