How can I support her?

Me, M41 and her F39.

A couple of years ago we found ourselves pregnant at a time early on in our relationship, both going through divorces and no way of living together or moving forward at that time.

We decided together on an abortion and it was a take at home one. She took the pill whilst I was at mine and it went pretty badly and she haemorrhaged badly and her young son had to help her whilst she lay there in the bathroom in a pool of blood waiting for an ambulance, and then spent the afternoon in the hospital as she stabilised.

After some time had passed she said that she didn’t think it was the right decision to have made and that although she thought she was done having children, this made her think otherwise and she regretted it.

The PTSD of this incident is still very much there and it is causing an inability to move forward when she’s around my children as she sees my children as ones that I chose to have but I rejected having a child with her. To me, we decided it together.

It has been 18 months since she has been able to be around my children and I do feel it’s a stumbling block and she feels it’s on her to overcome the issue herself which puts more pressure on it so we can move forward as a family.

What and how can I support her? I do see it as something that she needs to deal with as I don’t know what I can do to change her feelings.

I would say we’re probably both slightly on the autistic spectrum.