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I'm trying really hard to get better, but nothing is good enough. I was diagnosed with ptsd around 20 years ago, but have always been treated for regular ptsd or general anxiety/panic attacks. I definitely have those things, but I'm finding out that the reason I haven't made significant progress is because cptsd needs to be treated differently.
Anyway, I'm working on it with my therapist and psychiatrist but it's a lot and I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm not even sure what I need or hope to begin. I feel like I'm still just pushing it all down and pretending to be ok when I'm really so so not ok
@Kikidarling
I just wanted to say I'm super, super proud of you for continuing to try to get better, that's so admirable. I'm so impressed with your trying, it's clearly been really frustrating. I have never been in a situation like yours specifically, but I know what it's like to want something to get better desperately and just feeling like it isn't shifting - it's not fun.
I'm glad that you're able to work on it with your therapist and psychiatrist, that's really awesome, I'm glad you have that support system around you. But makes complete sense that it's just overwhelming now, it's a big thing to tackle, you're not any lesser for struggling with it. I hope that you can find a place/person whether it be here or in the outside world where you don't feel like you need to pretend to be okay, it's okay to not be okay.
Sending so, so much love to you. I hope things shift sooner than expected 
@GlitteringNights
Thank you ❤️