I never thought that I could have ptsd
After I started opening up to people about my problems, I seem to have ptsd from a time in my life, when I myself would say that I completely changed. I was very naive in the past. Now I have complexes, problems that people often cannot understand. Small things, like someone simply leaving the same room. I'm doing better now, but I have times, when I can't stand myself and hate the loneliness. In the past I would just invite random people over, hung out, smoke until I got tired enough to finally sleep. I would wake up in a shock, only thinking about this one person, who left me so easily. I can't explain how much damage one specific person caused in my life. I genuinely thought that I will never be able to live a normal life again and that it's okay.
@indigoOrange9898
Hey! Thanks for sharing your journey here with us. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to open up❤️
Struggling with PTSD is freaking hard and it must hurt you when people around you fail to understand your feelings. I completely relate with the feelings of self-hate and loneliness. Sometimes, it may feel like you're all alone with your past, your troubles and worries..
It sounds like you resorted to smoking and spending time with random people to avoid having to face the pain. Facing the pain head-on is easier said than done and I'm proud of you for overcoming that period in your life.
From what I understand, most of this pain roots from abandonment from someone you cared about. In the immediate aftermath, thoughts like "I'll never be able to live a normal life" or "It'll never be okay" are quite common. Abandonment hits really hard on self-esteem as well. For a while, you may have completely undervalued your self-worth.
I hope opening up to people and being on 7Cups has helped you in your journey towards healing!
Take care~Sierra💜
