Issue with practicing gratitude

Well, issue is not that I don't want to be grateful. I sure want and I think I am. But, although I've improved a lot, I still have loads of guilt hanging above my head just waiting to fall and smash me, and thinking about how much I already have just triggers the guilt so badly, and I start having the urge to compensate depriving me of things, and there come my eating disorders back, for example, or the fact that I don't allow myself to do anything I like, and with this particularly I am still struggling lot right now. So... Maybe gratitude would become helpful for me further along in my healing? Like, when I'll stop thinking I don't deserve anything? I don't know, does it make sense? Am I the only one?