My ex step mom

My dad married this new woman when I was about 7 or 8 years old and I wasn't allowed to see my real mom my whole life my parents would fight and accuse each other of crap. When I moved i with her I was about 8 yrs old and she told me my dad wasn't my real dad and that he never would be and that if I told him she said that he wouldn't believe me. I was emotional abused every day of my life and screamed at. She would talk about how serial killers all had reasons and she would sometimes put her hands on me. My dad wouldn't come home some nights and now when I hear someone who has a similar voice to her I freak out. When I was about 11 years old I moved in with my grandmother and she seems to hate me. She will scream at me and tell me I'm lazy and say I'm a bitch if I use the bathroom when she needs to. When I first moved in she told me not to eat so much or I would get fat she made crude comments on how my body was shaping. She picks my brother as her favorite and compares me to my stepmom but as long as it isn't as bad as when I was with my stepmother I don't care though.my dad will sneak and meet her but he doesn't know I know that..