Surppressed trauma outside of my childhood abuse trauma (tw)
During therapy I am processing my lifes different traumas. But inside of it are other traumas that affected me that I didn't realize they did at the time. I surppressed them... I had a good friend in high school disappear one night. They never found her. It was a big story in our small town. She's on the record as a missing in danger child from decades ago. I knew her well she would never leave her horse so I knew she was dead somewhere. I also had a group social event and one if us girls was roofied and raped and I didn't find out about it until after, like the next day. It caused more problems in my childhood home on top of the abuse. I also remembered our bus ran over a friend's dog while I was riding in it. These traumas were outside of my already difficult home life. I look back and think " omg how did I make it through all that in my PTSD state" God must be at my side all these years. 💜ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
It sounds like therapy has been an eye-opening experience for you. Besides trauma from your home life, certain other external traumas also left an impact on you. I want to let you know that suppressing the effect is a common reaction. Given that your home life was already difficult, I can't imagine what it was like to go through everything else.
I can imagine why you'd be wondering how you survived all this on top of your PTSD. Be it God or anything else, the important thing is that you survived it. You made it out of that period of life and I'm so proud of you..
I hope therapy continues to be helpful for you!
Stay strong~Sierra❤️
Thank you Sierra, just your response is helpful for me. Facing all of my abusive experiences and the rest of it has been extremely difficult. I don't have a big support system. This has got to be the hardest part of it all. I'm older been assaulted recently and I had to get out of a toxic workplace before it killed me. Somedays are really a challenge like nothing I have faced before. It's the emotional pain , it's so deep and difficult for others to see. I feel so lucky to part of this community. 💜ABB
@amiableBlackberry92 I admire the strength and courage you have to talk about your experiences. You've been through so much ❤ I'm so glad you've found Cups and its been such a help to you. I think the emotional and mental pain are the worst. Worse than anything physical I've ever endured - the rawness of it - nothing seems to soothe those wounds
You've been in my thoughts
@mytwistedsoul..thank you,❤️ I feel like a train wreck but no one can see it. I dream about running far away from here but I know I am unable to leave my pain behind. Idk how I'm going to do this the rest of my life. This is so hard.💜ABB
@amiableBlackberry92 You're welcome ❤ That's a feeling I know well. There isn't even any chance to escape into sleep because there seems to be something waiting for us there too
I often have the same thought - how am I supposed to do this? All day - every day? One step at a time at a time I suppose and hopefully it gets easier. It has to doesn't it? The damage has allready been done - now we just have to clean up the aftermath but my god the mess we've been left is unbelieveable
@mytwistedsoul your right I love that statement "my God the mess we've been left is unbelievable" . The struggle to do the basics feels like climbing a mountain. I really appreciate your undying support. I love seeing you around here on cups-💜ABB