Trauma (tw)
I've only started now to process my trauma. I think I was running from it before. I was r*ped by two students from the college I go to. They also took photographs of my body after using me and with all off my clothes off. They shared the photographs in a group chat with their friends. I had passed out from all the pain and fear at that time and found out about the photographs later. I blame myself so much for it. I was physically injured alot. I hate my body for it. Sometimes I have fantasies to get hurt again like my abusers hurt me. I don't know if this is normal or if something is wrong with me. I also don't want anyone to touch me
@laylaa12112
Hey..opening up about such a painful experience is painful enough in itself..*Offers hugs and strength*
I want you to know that none of it was your fault! They hurt you in a way no one deserves to be hurt..By the way, as someone who has personally experienced similar stuff, it *is* okay to feel like you want to be hurt again in the same way your abusers treated you..It's a natural reaction to trauma and sometimes, it passes with time. I often chased that feeling in my future relationships, too.
Intimacy can be scary. Often, trust issues result from such experiences and I hope you find someone who lets you heal in your own time. There's no rush..
If you want to talk more about your issue on a 1-to-1 chat, feel free to put out a general request or message a listener from the browse listeners page.
Take care~Sierra
@cuteeeezombieeee
Thank you ❤️ This really made me feel better and less alone
@laylaa12112 Everything you feel is completely normal and what happened is in no way your fault, I'd really recommend telling the police about the two students and the photos if you feel comfortable and incase they do it to anyone else, I'm so sorry about how you feel and what has happened, I think you should get therapy because you want to feel pain that you don't deserve.
@Reliablecucumber64
Thank you. This means so much to me ❤️
I reported it to the police but a few months after the trauma so I had no physical evidence. I don't think they handled it very sensitively and it spread horrible rumors in my college about me and my n*de photos that they took and shared. It makes me feel really violated. My abusers walk free. I think the police treated it like 'casual college case', it was a college party and I was also a bit drunk when they forced themselves on me. I feel like it's my fault for not fighting them off me. Sometimes I wish that I shouldn't have reported it to police because the procedure was so overwhelming. I started therapy at last, I was running away from it before. I had only 1 therapy session till now. I really hope I don't come across my abusers in college
@laylaa12112 It's not your fault, being drunk doesn't mean yes, I really hope you don't come across them again, they should be kicked out at least. So many r*pe cases aren't taken seriously by schools and police. If you did decide to one day go back to the police, maybe a different station, I think the images would be proof, but I understand that would be so hard to do, I hope overtime the pain heals. ❤️
@Reliablecucumber64
Thank you ❤️ I don't think the police took mines seriously at all. It all was very scary for me. I hope I can heal
@laylaa12112...I am so sorry for what happened to you. You are 100percent not at fault. I know it's hard to see that always because I have that problem too. Why me, what didn't I do, should have done etc. The pain of this trauma was debilitating for me to say the least. I left my job because of it .. therapy has been instrumental in my getting help and starting to deal with my ptsd. Put your needs first and do what you feel in your heart is right for you . Coming to 7 cups is a big step and a good one. So many great ppl here. Your not alone , Best ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92
Thank you. I'm glad that therapy is helpful for you. I hope we can all heal ❤️