Trying to not let it overwhelm me.
So to keep it simple...abused extensively from infancy till I was 14...currently 26 years old a mother of 4. I don't currently work and I'm a stay at home mom. The 3 oldest kids are away for the summer but I am at home with the baby. June and July are difficult for me. Flashbacks, panick attacks self harm urges ....you know the drill...the last few days people really keep ringing the door bell *Diiing Dong* kind of door bell. I don't remember everything that happened to me as a child but phones ringing and door bells really scare me. And just today the door bell was rung at least 5 times...and I know it was probably kids wanting to know if my kids are home and if they can play. But it still scares me...I know it sounds stupid...I'm just so scared someone will try to come hurt me or my baby....so me and her are hiding in the basement right now...my excuse to my fiance for hiding in the basement is that boxes still need to be organized and unpacked...
Sorry for rambling...
@PluralMP
I just want to say.. it is NOT stupid to feel that way. Your feelings and fears are totally valid. Scary stuff happened in your life, and it has created some pretty traumatic results. Of course I will suggest a therapist and psychiatrist to help you recover from those feelings. But I just want to tell you that you have every right to feel this way. I can't really give you advice, but don't worry... acknowledging that there are these feelings and where it came from is already a huge step forward.
@PluralMP
you should probably leave your basement though..... just take deep breaths... and call someone you trust.
