tw // i was groomed and just realized it now

When i was 14 i met this guy from app to chat with people nearby. I remember the first thing he asked me was if i was okay with him being 7 years older than me? At that time i was a very shy girl so i didn't have many friends, and he was one of few people who shares same interests with me so i told him it was fine. After all, i only wanted to make friends.

The first few months everything went fine, we talked normally. He asked me how was school etc and vice versa. He was a bit strange sometimes, but i paid no mind because he listened to me and didn't call me weird for liking or talking about certain stuff.

I remember one time he asked me if i have been 'naughty'? I didn't understand what he mean so i told him of course not, i'm not a little kid i know how to behave. And then he went on and told me that he did some naughty things when he was my age, and he explained that being naughty means doing something sexual. I didn't know what to say so i just listened to him.

I got accepted in my dream high school, which he also went there too, coincidentally. The more similarities for us to talk about. He asked me if i have a boyfriend already and i told him no because school year has just started and i haven't even made close friends yet. He asked me to tell him when i get a boyfriend. And so i did. I also told him when i got my first kiss because he asked me to tell him the details. He taught me how to french kiss and how to give head by sending me porn videos. He said he was giving me his "knowledge" so i wouldn't be awkward when i date boys.

We talked for the rest of my high school years, and by the time i got accepted into university he told me that he can't wait to hear my adventure in university. I asked what does he mean by that and he told me it means he wanted to know when i have sex. And he wanted to know the details. I was 18 at that time, i had gained a little bit more experience on friendship and the one i had with him was not normal.

So i distance myself from him, only replied to his messages once in a while with excuses like busy with homeworks or volunteers. And it worked on creating a distance between us. I actually kinda forget about him until today when i open *** and the first thing on my timeline was his picture with a baby which turned out to be his child. And the memories about how he manipulated me into thinking that whatever we had in the past was normal makes me sick i had to throw up.

I felt dirty. He didn't even lay a finger on me, and yet he made me feel like i was tainted with all his "knowledge" he gave me. I should've known better than trusting a stranger on internet. I should've known all the signs from the beginning, but i didn't. And that makes me feel so stupid.