10 years of sexual abuse, I hate sex now unless it’s not forced
I have been sexually abused for over 10 years by my own sibling, he was just a year older than me. It started I think when I was in 4th std and ended post passing out of high school. I was never penetrated by him, I was taught of this as a game as child, hence when I wanted out from it I could never confess about it to anyone. I felt responsible for it and guilty for being a part of it. Only at age of 24 I realised that I was a child it was not my fault. I m not sexually active , the porn category I like is bdsm. I feel like masturbating when it is rough and harsh only, I think this has got to do with the fact that I always thought sex is about the mans pleasure and is forced. I m married now and my sex life is very bad. I don’t know what to do, I don’t enjoy having sex at all, I feel like it is responsibility that I need to get over with. I m not sure whether anyone here can understand what I m trying to say, but it has taken me so many years to finally admit what’s going on.
@faithfulField10790
Hi Faithfulfield, I am sorry to know about your past experiences & I can completely understand your concern. Glad you could find this platform where you could open up about your concerns.
I think the past traumatic experinces are giving you stress & anxiety which is why this may be happening to you. I feel having open conversation with your husband & letting him know about your inhibitions will help you both to take it as a mutual concern & then you can try to find the solutions together. Invoving our partner can help them understand us better & they will try to help you to get over this feeling.
Even though I am not medical expert, you can consider taking an opinion from the therapist about post traumatic stress. You can read about post traumatic stress in the self help guide available on 7cups (https://www.7cups.com/traumatic-experience-help/).
You can also consider talking to listeners here who have mentioned traumatic experinces as something they have experinece themselves. You can find all such listeners here https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/?badge=&find=&sort=&ageGroup=&listType=&country=&category=40&gender=&language=&livedExperience=on
I hope you find this platform useful. Take care
Hi see I was wronged by my sibling who is a changed person and is a very nice human being,. He was sexually abused by someone and some elderly (family friend ) was teaching him what to do. I have made peace with him, I have forgiven myself and him also. I want him to be a part of our lives and telling my husband about it will not be great, I don’t want him to be treated differently. After forgiving everything and moving on the problem is I m still not able to enjoy sex and I have my doubts what if it is because of my trauma’s. I really need help but without telling this to my husband. I married him in an arranged set up ,our relationship is very fragile I don’t want to test it with something so heavy that not everyone is cut out to handle.
pls help
@faithfulField10790
Hi Faithful, I understand your concern, talking to your husband on this topic is difficult & we can never be certain about how he will react to this.
could you go through the self help guide & could you relate to what is being mentioned in that guide?
is it possible to seek therapy even without telling your husband about your past trauma?
are there any specific triggers which you think can be avoided to so that you wont be thinking about the trauma frequently?
Have you considered talking to any listeners who have lived through traumatic experinces themselves or any other listeners here on this platform. I feel 1-1 chat can give you more opportunities to you to express yourself & you and listener can work out some possible options that you can look for. If you like you can even think of connecting with me on this platform or any other listener (you can check the profle) you feel can help you better.
Take care
