Again & Again
I’d been raped more times than I can count. Whether it was a *friendly neighbor* coming to check on me when I was 15 or a boyfriend who would tie me down with duct tape and put a gun to my head. I had been putting these events away in my mind deciding to myself that I wouldn’t let it affect me. That I am stronger and I will be successful and I wouldn’t give them power over me in my life. But it’s starting to impact my current relationship. I’m paranoid and afraid and I keep building a wall in my head. Im afraid to fall in love with this person and they’re so sweet and kind and I am open with them. I don’t want to feel this way anymore...
Thank you for the advice! I think a bit part of the issue is that I’ve just compartmentalized everything. Instead of going to therapy and telling myself I’m fine.
@jm456
Hi !
I am sorry for all you went through.
It was a lot, it was too much !
Besides improving your current relationship, take good care of yourself.
Do not underestimate the damage those events might have caused you.
I would suggest that you find a good therapist through trusted references, like your doctor, friends, etc, and get a professional consultation.
Continue participating in this Community by posting any thoughts you want to share, as they come to your mind. It will be very helpful.
I would also recommend you to read the 7 Cups Guide on "Traumatic Experiences", HERE.
Keep in touch !
All the best !
Marcelo