Again and again

I was a literal baby when my grandfather started to sexual assault me, up until the age I was 2 someone I trusted did things to me I didn't even understand. I was a child and I thought it was normal. I trusted and loved a man that hurt me in ways I can't even process. I repressed those memories for so long I thought it was something I'd seen in a movie, or some character I'd read about in a book. Until recently I haven't been able to wrap my head around it almost 16 years later.

Then when I was 7 my uncle in law thought he could do the same thing, he took the trust of a very broken 7 year old girl and traumatised me more than I knew I already was. The thing that made it worse was I watched my father defend these monsters. I can't even have someone touch me slightly without seeing those things in my mind. They ruined my childhood and they've ruined every experience I should've had but they're happy with their lives and I struggle to sleep at night without seeing things in my mind.