Broken

well im not really sure where to start but here goes. so im a little embarrassed to say but it wasn't until some time last year that i realized i had been sexually abused when i was younger. im 23 now. it happened when i was around 7 or 8, again when i was 11 or 12 and lastly at 13. two were females and one male. sadly all family members. how it all even came to be i have no idea and as a child i wasn't aware anything was wrong. now when i read about sexual abuse, molestation etc i just break down. the last incident i wanted to speak up and tell someone but i was scared of what the person would do to me and that no one would believe me. there isn't really anyone im close to in my family that i would've been able to trust with that info. the worst part about it is i live with one of my abusers. and ive always been carrying around this guilt with me, idk why but anything i do or don't do i feel like in some way im wrong. i really want to move into my own place or even with room mates if possible but im not financially able, i just feel like i wont be able to get past this having to live with this person..ive been depressed for years, i have terrible insomnia, i cry a lot, ive imagined a million ways to kill myself, used to self harm but eventually stopped. i've always felt alone, even when im surrounded by people. i dont believe i belong anywhere. i just dont know what to do with my life. i want to disappear.

sorry for the lengthy post, had a lot to get off my chest. and this is just a short version. didnt want to go into too much detail.